The Impossible Working Mom

I’m sitting in the lounge gritting my teeth against another onslaught of screaming coming from the bedroom. It’s been going on like this for the last two hours. And of course, it’s not Daddy they want, it’s Mommy. Mommy and her boobs…ALL THE TIME. I promise I am not starving my kids, they literally fed 2 hours ago. It’s 4am…

I do freelance writing and at the moment I currently write web content for a virtual assistant company on a project to project basis. However, finding the time to write even a basic 500 word piece is sometimes near impossible. The deadline for this article is…well…today. Between trying to sort out the flat for the upcoming move, trying to navigate two, currently very demanding, six month olds, running the household and trying to work part time I amΒ exhausted! And frustrated.

Twin mommy-ing and trying to work is not hard, it’s ridiculous. We can’t afford nannies or day moms or play schools. And sure I could get a full time job but with two babies, getting a full time job without a university degree would mean just enough money to pay someone else to raise our kids and then contribute towards the ridiculously high rent of a tiny apartment here in Cape Town. It would be utterly pointless. And I swore I would never have kids and then be an absent parent! I had two absent parents…all the toys in the world could never make up for what I really wanted, which was more family time, more love and affection, more attention and teaching. I want to give my girls hugs and pancake Sundays and family outings to the lion park, or an exciting hike in the mountains. I want to make bubble beards with them in the bath and share the joy of the world as I help them discover it and see it again through new eyes again. I want to be there to kiss a sore finger or plaster up a grazed knee and teach them that you get up after getting hurt. I want to let them plait my hair (probably into a million knots which I’ll then spend hours brushing out) and try paint my nails. I want to teach them the joy of food, of shopping together and letting them choose new and exciting (to them) fresh foods bursting with colours then going home to explore cooking. I want to give my girls the best: a loving family. But it is so hard to be that when the stress of perhaps not making ends meet this month looms over your head. And when any attempt at trying to raise the girls AND bring in some money feels like pouring water into a leaking bucket. Actually even just raising the girls and trying to keep up with running the house feels like that. Then lets throw in the work aspect. Just make that bucket a bloody sieve.

3 thoughts on “The Impossible Working Mom

  1. I have a one year old and I sometimes feel like I go crazy so I can’t imagine life with two. You are a true hero and you are doing an amazing job. Love is the most important thing we can offer to out little ones. I know it’s financially hard but we have to believe it will get better. Hang in there. You are a wonderful mum

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Evening I know the feeling ,I’m a twin mommy myself.Just take it easy on yourself. and hang in there .things will get much better .Grab any support of family or friends to get a break now or then.I believe you can do this and you will *hugs*

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